But that was before Desmona learned he was a were-minotaur who ate people once a month. It was a fluke that she’d survived, or even discovered what he was. She’d walked in on Toody about to feast on a student he’d kept back for some private tutoring. A were-minotaur was more powerful than anything she’d ever expected to face, especially so early in her career. True, she might’ve only bested him due to the fact Toody charged headfirst into a fire extinguisher when she leaped out of the way. The resulting explosion his horns caused distracted him enough for her to stab him directly in the heart. It might’ve been luck, but Desmona was happy to take full credit, and prove to the Olympus Protection Order she wasn’t the inexperienced rookie they believed she was.
She’d actually liked Mr. Toody as a teacher, but that was before she walked in on him preparing to feast on a student he’d met for private tutoring. Toody was a were-minotaur, a species that had to eat people once a month. They were far more powerful than anything she expected to face so early in her career, and it was a fluke that she survived: she had leapt out of the way when Toody charged at her, ramming into a fire extinguisher instead. The resulting distraction bought her just enough time to stab him in the heart. Sure, it might’ve been luck, but Desmona was happy to take the credit, and, more importantly, prove to the Olympus Protection Order she wasn’t the rookie they believed she was.
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It was important to change the order of information in this paragraph. In the original, the reader knows that Desmona survived Toody before learning she was in danger. I rearranged this so the reader learns that Desmona liked him, then walked in on him trying to eat a student, fighting him, and surviving.
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The were-minotaurs being “far more powerful” now immediately follows “…had to eat people once a month”, keeping the descriptions grouped together.
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“The resulting explosion his horns caused distracted him enough” is clunky. Trimming it down to “The resulting distraction” allows the reader to focus on the more important action: Desmona stabbing him in the heart.
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The “Sure” adds a bit of attitude, while including “more importantly” may not seem major, but helps show that while Desmona is happy to take credit, what really matters to her is proving she’s not an amateur.